do you even come here anymore

this place is empty
just words in their apparent form
(little 1's and 0's really)
strewn across cyberspace
recording feelings
maybe some hopes
definitely some dreams
but like a forgotten book
on a long forgotten, dust covered shelf
the words really are meaningless
unless read
they don't really need to be written
though in writing them there is some catharsis
maybe the soul is freed
or maybe not
regardless
the words are still here
even if you are not

smitten

the thought of you brings a smile
the memory of your looks
your laughter
those eyes
the sound of your voice
you're lovely
without even knowing it
and knowing you as i do
is it any wonder
that i'm smitten?

Lyrical

The sound of your voice
Sweet, melodious
A songbird would envy it
You say you can't sing
But when every word flows
Lyrically
You don't really need to
Do you?

Never Far

I'm sorry
For having imposed
In your life
And perhaps causing
Undue concerns

Your situation
Didn't need meddling
But it may also
Not be over yet
So this I say

I am still here
Never far
A word away
Hiding but
Not invisible

So I may not
Be the presence
I once was
But rest assured
I keep my word

I am never far
And if you need me
I will be here

Mi Corazon

It is just a little thing
This heart of mine
Not much
But it keeps me going

I guard it
Do the best I can
To take care of it
It's all I have

And it breaks
So very easily
It never grew tough
Always soft, sensitive

And always wanting
That one special one

It can only belong
To one other, see?
It can be shared
It wants to be

Perhaps, the flaw is this;
Not that I loved too little
But loved
Too much

Always soft, sensitive
It never grew tough
And it breaks
So very easily...

Just A Girl

You say you're just a girl
You may have even felt
That "just"
Was an appropriate appellation

Is every sunset just a sunset
Every masterpiece just a masterpiece
The wonders of the universe
Just plain?

Perhaps you need another
Apellation, title
Or better perhaps
You do more than justice to the word "just"

The Silence Roars

Deafening nothingness
Echoes off
A vacuum

The walls close in
And vanish
Into void

Simultaneous light/darkness
Casts black shadows
On black walls

Absence, melancholy
Trying to fill your place
With air...

Only Fooling Me

(another song, from February 2006...)
I come home late to my flat again
From that place I've been, my job, from 9 to 5
I sit and stare into my coffee cup
Things should be looking up,
But I wonder if I'm alive

I call you up, you are my dearest friend
We sit and chat again for hours, so it seems
I say we should go see a movie soon
Things should be looking up
But it seems so only in my dreams

And I lie to myself again
Convince myself that every thing is all right
And I try for myself again
But I'm only fooling me, it's easy to see

The forecast calls for snow again
Seems this winter will never end, it's bitter cold
Guess I could go and build a snowman
And make a brand new friend
But one who'll never get too old

It seems my life is just a mascarade
And all the parts are played by strangers in this play
Aside from some who really know me well
Everyone wears a mask
Guess there's nothing more to say

And I lie to myself again
Convince myself that every thing is all right
And I try for myself again
But I'm only fooling me, it's easy to see

Dreamtime Girl

(this is a song I wrote back in March of 2006...)

I've seen her at least a thousand times
Sitting there outside this flat of mine
She seems to have a dreamy look as she just waits
That's how I know her
My dreamtime girl

Same old bus pretty much every day
The 15-S goin' up Broadway
I wonder if she might have anyone at home
But I can't ask her
My dreamtime girl

We all live inside our prisons
Those walls that we erect
I might just get the nerve one day

To maybe go and talk to her
Or even ask her out
But you know I worry 'bout what she might say

So I'll just dream my life away
Because I know there'll never come a day
Why take a chance and ruin all my fantasies
She'll live in my heart
My dreamtime girl

私は幽霊午前

私は幽霊午前

touch

your skin
so soft
delicate
smooth to the touch
sweet to the taste
the feel of you
arouses me
even the sound of
your breathing
moves me
and your touch
the stuff of dreams

Colors

Paint away the pain
Dark colors
Dark canvas
Heavy strokes on bleak colors
Reminescent of night
Pour the emotions
Into the work
In the hopes
That it will fade

Stormy

Your dark hair is tossed
Each strand
Dancing in the wind

Your dark eyes shine
A contrast
To the dark skies

A storm may be outside
With all of nature's fury
Inside there is a storm as well

The pent up passion
Of expression denied
Let loose in a torrent

Let your love pour out
Let it engulf me
Let my passion fill you

Ethereal

I see you in the sunlight
Your smiling face
Your laughter
You seem to float
Not walk

You are eternal
Yet youthful
Wise yet innocent
You may be on Earth
But you certainly don't belong here

You may be human
You may be mortal
But there is a luminescence
That wells up from inside you
And shines

You may be human
But you are ethereal

Beauty At Dawn

Oh, how I long to see that time
Looking into your closed eyes
As the Sun is barely rising up
In still darkened eastern skies

To know that the night that was before
Was filled with passions fire
To see you in the morning light
Simply brings me more desire

I'd brush your hair aside to look
Upon your lovely face
Resting there, you're still asleep
In dream's warm embrace

My lips I'd very gently press
To your sleeping brow
I'd try my best not to disturb you
You need your sleep for now

Perhaps a smile would start to form
As you dream your dreams
Mortals may need their sleep though
You're a goddess to me, it seems

So rest with ease, my princess dear
As I'd lay there next to you
As you slumber, I truly know
That you're my dream come true

Coldfire

Starts so slowly
Builds
There is love
Oh Yes
There is love
In your arm
In your kisses
It starts to build
More
Reaching
Wanting
Building more
As if emotion
Had grown arms
And had a mind
Of its own
Building
Until the coldfire
That had started
Ever so sweetly
Builds
To a raging inferno
And it ends
And becomes
The coldfire again
Waiting to
Build

Fifty Something

How many has it been?
How many times?
That words have flowed from my brain
Down my arms
Into my fingertips
Across a keyboard
To become digital ink?

How many has it been?
How many times?
That I have looked at you
Across the way
A few yards distant
Just over there
And longed to touch you?

How many has it been?
How many times?
That I have touched you
Ran my hand across yours
To your back
Holding you?

Fifty something
A hundred times or more
It doesn't matter
They are finite expressions
Of the infinity I feel
For you

Be My Love

There is something in your smile
Something in your eyes
Something about your touch
That warms me to the core

To touch your lovely face
To feel your raven hair
To kiss your anxious lips
Makes me simply want you more

Be my fire, be my air
Be my darkness, be my light
Take my breath, steal my heart
Be my day, be my night
Be right here, anywhere
And in my heart is where you are
Be my love

To feel you breathing next to me
As I hold you, dearest one
Can still send chills through me
That I can't describe

Making one to one so dear
Nothing can compare to this
It's the love you give
That makes me feel alive

Be my fire, be my air
Be my darkness, be my light
Take my breath, steal my heart
Be my day, be my night
Be right here, anywhere
And in my heart is where you are
Be my love
Forever in my heart
Be my love

vanished

i did it again
i looked in that direction
expecting to see your face
just a few yards away
smiling
your pixie bangs
hanging on either side
of your beautiful
brown eyes

i was greeted instead
with an empty spot
nobody there
just a vacuum
where the goddess
i love
used to be

she may not be there
but she is still here

Inside of You

Oh show me those mystic places
That lay deep inside your heart
Inside your soul, inside your mind
Inside of you

Your eyes are like a doorway
And they beckon me to step
Into that passage, across that threshold
I must pass through

Oh the stories that must lie there
Oh the songs your heart must sing
Oh how I want to know them all
Oh please do tell

And so if a kiss can be a key
May it unlock the gate into
That inner part inside where
Your heart must dwell

And lo! Alas I've seen it!
And it shines just like the Sun
Its mighty fire can thaw even
The coldest soul

And still it is so tender
So cradle it I will
And keep it safe here in my hands
To keep it whole

Oh I've seen a glimpse inside you
A place of majesty and grace
A princess you must surely be
A work of art

This humble man who stands before you
Who looks on you in awe
And who knows you surely have
Captured his heart

Evidence

Was it just hours ago
When you sat there?
I look at the spot

My mind wants desparately
To put you there
There are hints of
The former inhabitant

The way the fabric sits
The faint smell
Of your perfume
Still there

Perhaps in some
Alternate universe
You are still there
Beckoning me

In this one
I have your evidence
And the knowledge
Of your love

Afterglow

You are simply lovely
Basking in the embers
A lovely light bathing you
Through closed blinds
Raven hair tousled
Your sweet perfume hanging in the air
As you lay there in splendor
And your afterglow bathes my life

Constellations

Specks of light
Scattered across a dark backdrop
That is neither intimidating
Nor cold
They form patterns
Pictures that tell stories
That stretch from horizon
To horizon
How can I discern them?
Are they the stars in the heavens?
Or the story in your eyes?

Whatever It Takes

You say that you have questions
And I completely understand
The things that are sitting on your mind

The truth is you're still learning
The person that I am
But if you look much closer, I think you'll find

That my heart has never beat so hard
As when I looked at you
The princess whom I saw standing on the stairs

And I a humble mortal
Who gazed at you and thought
"What a woman, she looks as though she has no cares"

But cares you'd have a plenty
Your life's a changing thing
I didn't know but soon found out
Your problems didn't take to wing

And so whatever it takes to make you happy
Seems a lofty goal
For a woman, one as sweet as you
Who seems so in control

But life can be bittersweet and cold
When it takes a sad turn
It's just your heart that's on the line
And you think by now you'd learn

That it's never really simple
Your heart sometimes breaks
To see you smile, you know I'll do
Whatever it takes

You've been burnt by circumstance
Relationships turned cold
And sometimes, they simply weren't true at all

You wondered if anyone really cared
About the way you felt
Would anyone be there to catch you when you fall

I'm just a foolish mortal
I might have foolish dreams
One look from you, my dreams came true
You stole my heart, it seems, so

And so whatever it takes to make you happy
Will simply be my quest
For my princess who only
Deserves the very best

But this man is far from perfect
When taken as a whole
It's just my heart that's on the line
And you think that you should know

That it's never really simple
Your heart sometimes breaks
To win your heart, you know I'll do
Whatever it takes

It may have been bent and battered
And I know it sometimes breaks
But I'll cherish your heart with all my love
And whatever it takes

held in the dark

you were there with me
together
alone in the dark
two lovers
wrapped around
each other
touching
their longing
quenched...

...for now

words fail at times

words
fail
at
times
I try to gain my composure
then my eyes wander in
your direction and
words
fail
at
times...

Oh To Know You

To see you is just a start
To look into your eyes is to lift the veil
To hear your voice is to approach the theshold
To touch you is to turn the key
To kiss you is to open the door
Your soul is luminous
Your presence inspiring
Almost overwhelming
All of it powerful
As I approach you
To know you more

Dream

Did I dream you?
At which point
Did you exit my dreams
And enter the world?
You are almost ethereal
Yet I have held you
Touched you
Loved you
Did I dream you?
Or is this a waking dream?

Awed Again

I feel awed in your presence today
And wholly inadequate
Like a candle next to the Sun
A tea cup next to the ocean
A scribble next to a da Vinci
You may simply be dressed as you
But that you
Simply is
The most beautiful
Soul

flicker of your eyes

Once again
The flicker of your eyes
Caught my attention
Those dark eyes
That lure mine
Like a magnet
Or gravity
Slowly drawing me in
And into an orbit
Around you...

How

My love
How I want to wrap myself around you
Keep you warm when those cold winds blow
How I want to shelter you
When those storms arrive
How I long to hold you
When you need affection
How I dream of your kisses
When you are not here
Though only three letters in length
"How" says it all and yet not enough

Chrysalis

Imagine being treated like
A worm
You spend your day
Crawling
From leaf to leaf
Looking
For the stuff you need
To survive
What do you know, after all
You're just
A worm
You are so seemingly simple
A creature
But you know that inside
You're not
When the change does come
It is sudden
You disappear into
A cocoon
For days, perhaps
Weeks even
But you emerge
And become what you truly are
All it took
Was for the right thing
The right circumstance
To come along
You are now no longer a lowly worm
You are now a creature
Of the sky...

faerie path

green leaves
raining down chartreuse sunlight
onto the path
a jigsaw of light
playing tricks on the eyes
and the mind takes over

was that some movement?
near that sweetgum?
the flutter of wings?
a whispered laugh?
rustling amongst the branches?

did we step on a faerie sod
and in doing so
change our reality?
or have our hearts
and our minds
simply filled in the gaps

leaves as fluttering
a breeze as laughter
wind and rustling
or maybe...
maybe...
there is magic
here

distant not that far

i can see you
touch you
hear you
though you are far
from me
i can remember
those things
that i love
about you
though distant
you are with me
as if a piece of your soul
has latched onto
a piece of mine

storms in the night

slowly building
wind's picking up
flashes of light
rumbles of thunder
the heavens open
it slows
it ends

the world gone verdant

the color of energy
the one that our eyes are most sensitive to
(so say the scientists)
perhaps we need to see that energy
sunlight caught by plants
transformed by photosynthesis
changing the color of the world
from shades of brown and gray
to shades of green
the color of nature
as she shows us
how to live

out amongst the stars

singular beauty
glowing in my field of vision
as heavenly a body as there ever was
shining in my life brighter than the sun
more beautiful than the constellations
or any stellar object
twinkling
glowing
like the stars
and perhaps as distant...

Sunset Proclamations

'neath the loblolly pines

In the shelter of the forest
'neath the loblolly pines
Were passionate kisses had
Inner desires revealed
Intimacy extended
Hearts ignited
As if nature herself
Were released
Loving kisses
Hearts racing
'neath the loblolly pines

A Queen In My Dreams

As you walk along a garden path
Do the flowers bow before you?
And as look up to the skies
Do the songbirds sing for you?

You are majestic
Yet you do not know
Before you I am just a man

To touch you I am healed
For you rule a special place
In my heart
A queen in my dreams

Melting

You do it, and you don't even know
You look at me, or say something
And like some child, I feel my legs weaken
And my heart warms up and melts
Delightful this feeling
To be lost in it
Intoxicating

Stars

I saw stars shining
On a cloudy night
The golden flecks
Glowing incandescent
In your eyes
A universe
In your soul

that flame

That flame that burns inside
The moment our eyes meet
An impassioned gaze that says more than any book
Words cannot describe
The feeling
Within
And in your presence
I feel weak
Humbled and awed
As if in that glance, that proximity
I have felt the presence
Of an angel
Whom I may have never imagined
In my wildest dreams

Your Countenance

An artist would love your face
It calls to mind features
That would not look out of place
Among the fae of legend
The Celts of yore
The angels in heaven

From Where It Flows

You ask where does this come from?
For the first time in a long time
I feel as though I can write page upon page
The words flowing up and out
Of the wellspring of emotions and thoughts
Perhaps I am a babbling fool
Fearing that perhaps I will bore or overwhelm
I've had these feelings before, once, a lifetime ago

But this is different...

eternity in a glance

If it were possible to just live on gazing upon you
I would be eternal
A lifetime in an instant
An eternity in a glance
Humble words from a mere mortal
Who has seen true grace...

For You

(Here, I can hide in the digital white noise, and no one would be the wiser...)

I have not felt like a stumbling teenager in a very long time
In a very real sense, I feel like a fool
Just wanting to hold you
To know you are real
Not a figment
My luck has never been good at meeting people
(Yes, I know)
But for the first time in a very long time
My heart is all a'flutter...